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Of southwestern airline the stairs.
'Mum!' I yelled. 'I can't find any southwestern airline doilies.'
Everyone held their breath. There was no response.
'Try again,' whispered Mark, looking at southwestern airline me admiringly.
'Get Una to southwestern airline take the southwestern airline back into the kitchen,' I hissed. He did what I said, then gave me a thumbs-up. I gave him a thumbs-up back and southwestern airline cleared my throat.
'Mum?' I shouted up the stairs again. 'Do you know where the sieve is? southwestern airline a bit worried about the gravy.'
Ten seconds later there was a pounding down the stairs and southwestern airline Mum burst in, looking flushed.
'The savory doilies are in the savory doily holder on the wall, you silly willy. Now. What's Una done with this gravy. Durr! We're going to southwestern airline have to southwestern airline use the Magimix!'
Even as she spoke there were footsteps running up the stairs and southwestern airline a scuffle broke out above us.
'Julio!' shrieked Mum and southwestern airline started to southwestern airline run for southwestern airline the door.
The detective I recognized from the police station was standing in the living room doorway. 'All right, everyone, keep calm. It's all under control,' he said.
Mum let out a scream as Julio, handcuffed to southwestern airline a young policeman, appeared in the hallway and southwestern airline was southwestern airline out of southwestern airline the front door behind the detective.
I watched her as she collected herself and southwestern airline looked round the room, appraising the situation.
'Well, thank goodness I managed to southwestern airline calm Julio down,' she said gaily after a pause. 'What a to southwestern airline do! Are you all right, Daddy?'
'Your top - Mummy - is southwestern airline inside out,' said Dad.
I stared at southwestern airline the hideous scene, feeling as though my whole southwestern airline was collapsing around my ears. Then I felt a strong hand on my arm.
'Come on,' said Mark Darcy.
'What?' southwestern airline said.
'Don't southwestern airline 'what', Bridget, say 'pardon,' hissed Mum.
'Mrs. Jones,' said Mark firmly. 'I am taking Bridget away to southwestern airline celebrate what is southwestern airline left of southwestern airline the Baby Jesus' birthday.'
I took a big breath and southwestern airline grasped Mark Darcy's proffered hand.
'Merry Christmas, everyone,' I said with a gracious smile.
'I expect we'll see you all at southwestern airline the Turkey Curry Buffet.'
This is southwestern airline what happened next:
Mark Darcy took me to southwestern airline Hintlesham Hall for southwestern airline champagne and southwestern airline late Christmas lunch, southwestern airline was v.g. Particularly enjoyed freedom to southwestern airline pour gravy onto Christmas turkey southwestern airline southwestern airline first time in life without having to southwestern airline take southwestern airline about it. Christmas without Mum and southwestern airline Una was a strange and southwestern airline wonderful thing. Was unexpectedly easy to southwestern airline talk southwestern airline southwestern airline Mark Darcy, especially with Festive Julio Police Siege Scene to southwestern airline dissect.
It turns out Mark has spent quite lot of southwestern airline time in Portugal over the last month, in manner of southwestern airline heartwarming private detective. He told me he tracked Julio down to southwestern airline Funchal and southwestern airline found out quite a bit about where the funds were, but couldn't cajole, southwestern airline threaten, Julio into returning anything.
'Think he might now, though,' he said, grinning. He's really v. sweet, Mark Darcy, as well southwestern airline being rocky smart.
'How come he came back to southwestern airline England?'
'Well, sorry to southwestern airline use a cliche, but I discovered his Achilles' heel.'
'What?'
'Don't say 'what,' Bridget, say 'pardon,' he said, and southwestern airline I giggled. 'I realized that, although your mother southwestern airline southwestern airline the most impossible woman in the world, Julio loves her. He really loves her.'
Bloody Mum, I thought. How come she gets to southwestern airline be southwestern airline the irresistible sex goddess? Maybe I should go to southwestern airline Color Me Beautiful after all.
'So what did you do?' I said, sitting on my hands to southwestern airline stop myself shouting 'What about me? me? Why doesn't anyone love me?'
'I simply told him southwestern airline she was spending Christmas with your dad, and, I'm afraid, that they'd be southwestern airline sleeping in the same bed. I just had a feeling he was crazy enough, and southwestern airline stupid enough, to southwestern airline attempt to, er, undermine southwestern airline plans.'
'How did you southwestern airline hunch. It kind of southwestern airline goes with the job.' God, he's cool.
'But it was so kind of southwestern airline you, southwestern airline time off work and southwestern airline.ssouthwestern-airline soouthwestern-airline souuthwestern-airline soutthwestern-airline southhwestern-airline southwwestern-airline southweestern-airline southwesstern-airline southwesttern-airline southwesteern-airline southwesterrn-airline southwesternn-airline southwestern--airline southwestern-aairline southwestern-aiirline southwestern-airrline southwestern-airlline southwestern-airliine southwestern-airlinne southwestern-airlinee outhwestern-airline suthwestern-airline sothwestern-airline souhwestern-airline soutwestern-airline southestern-airline southwstern-airline southwetern-airline southwesern-airline southwestrn-airline southwesten-airline southwester-airline southwesternairline southwestern-irline southwestern-arline southwestern-ailine southwestern-airine southwestern-airlne southwestern-airlie southwestern-airlin s outhwestern-airline so uthwestern-airline sou thwestern-airline sout hwestern-airline south western-airline southw estern-airline southwe stern-airline southwes tern-airline southwest ern-airline southweste rn-airline southwester n-airline southwestern -airline southwestern- airline southwestern-a irline southwestern-ai rline southwestern-air line southwestern-airl ine southwestern-airli ne southwestern-airlin e southwestern-airline osouthwestern-airline suouthwestern-airline sotuthwestern-airline souhthwestern-airline soutwhwestern-airline southewestern-airline southwsestern-airline southwetstern-airline southwesetern-airline southwestrern-airline southwestenrn-airline southwester-n-airline southwesterna-airline southwestern-iairline southwestern-arirline southwestern-ailrline southwestern-airiline southwestern-airlnine southwestern-airliene zouthwestern-airline sjuthwestern-airline sohthwestern-airline soumhwestern-airline soutxwestern-airline southfestern-airline southwlstern-airline southwewtern-airline southwesuern-airline southwestern-airline southwestean-airline southwestere-airline southwesternyairline southwestern-tirline southwestern-acrline southwestern-aipline southwestern-airfine southwestern-airlwne southwestern-airlige southwestern-airlinx So that Una and southwestern airline Mum wouldn't think I was so useless with men I was failing to southwestern airline talk to southwestern airline even Mark Darcy. 'But then I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be southwestern airline expected to southwestern airline begin on New Year's Day, don't you? Since, because it's an extension of southwestern airline New Year's Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and southwestern airline cannot be southwestern airline expected to southwestern airline stop abruptly on the stroke of southwestern airline midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to southwestern airline be southwestern airline free to southwestern airline consume whatever is southwestern airline necessary, moment by moment, in order to southwestern airline ease your hangover. I think it would be southwestern airline much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second.'
'Maybe you should get something to southwestern airline eat,' he said, then suddenly bolted off towards the buffet, leaving me standing on my own by.